Showing posts with label Bands I Will Never Mention Again. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bands I Will Never Mention Again. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Goodbye... Wait For Me

The latest in my series about albums to be deleted from my iPod.

There’s an underground British scene creating some great music right now. It’s cranking it out at a frantic pace, with nearly every release being borderline essential. Taking cues from, but not aping, important pop forefathers, this scene is arguably the future of the underground and a refreshingly creative alternative to the run-of-the-mill fodder largely being released right now.

The Pigeon Detectives are not part of this scene.

A band called The Libertines was formed in the late '90s. They took cues from such NME favorites as The Clash, The Jam, and Oasis. The Libertines broke up after two mediocre albums, but were a huge commercial success anyway. This was due in no small part to the critical bandwagon driven by, surprise surprise, NME and Q magazines. Their legacy has now reached legendary status, and their followers (re: posers) are burning up British radio and charts. This means whatever creativity The Libertines once claimed to own has been mined and stripped of all value. Now the first wave of imitators (see: Artic Monkeys) have imitators of their own. Heaven help us.

Yes, The Pigeon Detectives are one of these rip-off rip-offs.

Let’s get one thing straight. The Pigeon Detectives don’t suck. They are a pretty good technical band: they play tight, seem to have aptitude at their instruments, and are well-produced. No, my problem with has nothing to do with their aptitude. I just wish they’d, you know, try.

You can’t fault a band for using standard song structures. Most songs are written that way because it’s what works. But The Pigeon Detectives have other common (re: cliché) elements to their songs: hand-claps (see: The Kaiser Chiefs), responding backing vocals (see: Artic Monkeys), danceable staccato guitar lines (see: Franz Ferdinand), and attempts at “humorous,” self-effacing lyrics (see: every other band in this lousy genre). And they do it pretty well. The thing is, there are hundreds of other bands doing the exact same thing!

The world doesn’t need another Jam/Clash/Oasis/Libertines/Arctic Monkeys/Franz Ferdinand/Kaiser Chiefs.

The thing is, their sound isn’t even that good! It’s danceable, but not that danceable. It’s driving, but not that driving. It’s clever, but not that clever. Man, it all just sounds the same.

I know I haven’t even mentioned their album, Wait For Me, yet. Do I have to? I mean, c’mon, I can’t even tell the songs apart, much less these bands. I wouldn’t listen to The Pigeon Detectives even if I liked this type of music. Go listen to dubstep, England’s other current underground music scene. It’s inspired, groundbreaking, creative, and just… better. This garbage? Delete.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Goodbye... Rooney

The first in my series about albums I'm deleting from my iPod.

Oh man, this one has been a long time in coming.

Rooney's self-titled debut is one of those albums I'm a bit embarrassed to actually own. I really don't know where to begin with the thing. Should I start with the insipid lyrics? Okay...

Yeah, everyone goes through high school - it's understandable that there is such a huge market for teen-related songs, but my gosh, there are tasteful ways of writing lyrics that apply to the age group... and Rooney knows nothing of them: "I'm a horrible person, I read her diary... I told all of her secrets to all the guys in town - they all laugh and slap me five. Oh yeah!" How could you listen to those words and not laugh? It would be one thing if they weren't serious...

Speaking of serious, let's talk about pretension for a second. It would seem a no-name group such as Rooney (at least pre-OC soundtrack Rooney) would maybe be a little more realistic about their (small) place in the world. Think again! Case-in-point... "Popstars"... I can look beyond the chorus lambasting "money-making machines", but judging from the lyrics posted above, Rooney has no business tossing around the word "unsophisticated". They do it anyway.

There are several things I find hilarious about this clip. My favorite is the fact that the performance takes place on popstar Carson Daly's show. If there are truly "killers of rock 'n roll", then Rooney is holding the knife.

I guess I don't really care that Rooney sounds exactly like Weezer. It's more the utter lack of creativity, intelligence, taste, etc. that gets to me. Besides, any band with a high probability of listing Switchfoot as an influence is on thin ice as far as I'm concerned.

There are other aspects I can't stand about this album, but to give it a full review is to give it more than it's worth. Let's just say it's bad and leave it at that.

Delete.